For You

I’m not easy. Frankly, I am a mixture of mystery and delight; yet, you may never get to experience the latter. I reserve myself to keep on observing those around me, never fully expressing the facets within me. The fear of being exposed has me blending into the walls I build up. No one sees, no one can hurt me. All this underexposed nonsense leaves me wondering why I never get noticed; when in fact, I am my own worst enemy. I don’t want to shine, for the fear of being seen— because I don’t know what others will see. Will they find out my weaknesses & use it against me? Will they laugh at my idiosyncrasies & walk on by? Will they accept all that I am? I don’t know what is worse; having someone skip over you because you’re not easy enough to see, or that they take the time to see you, but in the end… They decide to walk away from all that you gave.

I just don’t understand why people have to be so unkind. We are supposed to love our neighbor (as we love our self). I guess that just shows me how much people dislike themselves if they can’t show love to others.

A caring heart can get trampled on by carelessness; either by your own accord or by the intentions of others. Words can heal, but yours chose to bruise.

joy.

all my life, there was an incessant knocking on the door, and I’d answer it every time. And with each passing moment, it grew more common that I just let it come in. By the time I realized it, it had made a disastrous commonplace within my home. 
when someone comes along to which you want to change everything, and that little homebody wants to destroy your happiness, it will. It isn’t until you open your eyes to what you’ve been allowing to come into your heart that you will see it for what it is. A monster. A death-grip. A destroyer. Jealousy has no place for my home anymore; and when I kicked it out for good, I still hear its slow, hollow knocks.
But I am not answering. I will not listen to it any longer.

Farewell, you devil. You may have willingly stolen years of happiness from me, but you will not steal my joy.

so my heart’s a little messy, and the colors scribble out of the lines; but that’s the best part of me, wherein my beauty lies.

to build a home

your smile. so endearing
the way you look at me, and look away.
your eyes dance. so enticing
the way you look at me, and look away.
your voice. so sweet
the way you speak to me, and look my way.

now that I’ve found you,
I don’t want to give you up.
I see your heart is still full of pain,
you know I see it too.
you tell me a story, of your life
I can’t quite understand it,
you were just a boy before 
all the wrong choices, the wrong path
and yet,

I understand His forgiveness, how He wants you so
I can feel the tears stream down, on your pale glow
I can feel the heartache and sadness, deep in your soul
I can see the sorrow of sin, how it sucked you in
I can see the man after His heart, within.

He built a home for you and I
Til our fragments disappear
A former life, not seen within
I want that for you, time and time again
He loves you, He loves, oh He loves you so.

Give up your demons that cut you down
The crevasses and old marks tattooed on your skin
They bind you up and make you still
There’s love in your heart, build, build, build!
There’s love in your heart, He is there
Give up your demons that wreck your soul
They are your addictions, they won’t make you whole.

There’s a love in you
There’s a heart in you
There’s a soul in you 

Return to Me
I have redeemed you. 
My Love.

Down in the garden, I planted the seed
He mended the branches, and now I can see
Beauty so deep, down in its roots
Hidden well, it reached out for me
The sun, the sky, the birds
All beautiful to me.


But nothing compares,
To the Love He has for me,
He is the one my heart loves so well
Some day you will see
Some day you will come for me
To build a home, 
To build a home with me.